Christmas is over and New Years is coming. We have survived the chaos (mostly). Other than battling a second round of colds and fevers we’re in good shape.
My children have been out of school for over a week and are starting to work each other’s last good nerve. Precious is used to having the house to herself during the day so not having the older kids leave has totally thrown off her routine. She has taken to announcing that everything in the house is hers and is running from toy to toy guarding it as only a 3 year old can – by screaming at the top of her lungs. The biggest thing she has taken to protecting is the computer. She discovered NickJr.com a couple of weeks before Christmas and loves it. She normally would get her time during the day but this week has had to wait her turn. This has been misery for her. It has hit the point that she refuses to leave the computer even to eat once her turn has started because she is afraid someone will take the computer while she’s away. At this very moment she is asleep in the chair in front of the computer. Yes, curled up in the big office chair asleep.
We’ve tried unsuccessfully to move her 3 times now and each time has resulted in her waking up and throwing a fit. I even tried just rolling the chair away from the computer but that woke her up crying as well. She definitely gets the concept of squatter’s rights and is guarding her territory – even while sleeping.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Where’s the Daddy? A Christmas Story
My husband spent yesterday afternoon looking for an extension cord for the small Christmas tree in the living room. In this process of looking for the extension cord he found my grandmother’s manger set. I haven’t set it up for years because, well, I have 5 children and didn’t want it broken.
My husband decided that now that the children are a little older we should have the manger set up. So, he set the manger up on the table by the front door. He put the Baby Jesus and Mary in the stable but he set Joseph and the 3 wise men along with the camels and a cow outside the manger looking in. Not your normal set up. Well, this caused some confusion with the neighbor’s daughter who is 4 years old. She walked past the manger on her way out the door to go home and noticed the strange set up of the manager. She looked at my husband and asked “Where is the Daddy?” Now my husband, being the devout Muslim that he is, said, “There is no daddy.”
Now begins the confusion:
4 year old neighbor (whose family is Mormon): “But where’s the daddy?”
My Husband: “There is no daddy. God willed Jesus to be born. It was a miracle called the Immaculate Conception.” Now, how many of you knew Islam believed in the Imaculate Conception? I didn't and I've been married to this man and dealing with this culture for 20 years all together.
Princess (my 6 year old) after pondering this for a moment: “Well then who is Joseph, Mary’s boyfriend?”
My husband (wondering how he got himself in this mess): “No, Joseph was Mary’s husband, but he is not Jesus’ daddy. Jesus did not have a daddy.”
Princess: “So, Joseph was Jesus’ Step-daddy?”
My husband: “Well, sort of.”
Princess (who, by the way, had announced that Frosty the Snowman has a wife named Sally so now they can have children just this past Sunday): “So, how was Jesus born if he didn’t have a daddy?”
My Husband (really trying to keep a straight face): “Jesus doesn’t have a daddy because God willed Jesus to be born.”
4 year old neighbor: “But where’s the daddy?”
My husband (giving up before he digs himself in any deeper): “I think you need to go ask your Mom about that.”
He then walked her home, but did not warn her mother about the conversation that had taken place. I gave her a call later that evening because I felt I should warn her. I just knew that this Sunday in the middle of church that lovely little girl is going to repeat her interpretation of the story of Baby Jesus as told to her by Mr. M. I can just hear it now. “Jesus doesn’t have a daddy. Mr. M told me so. Did you know Joseph was Mary’s boyfriend? ” I like my neighbors, so I thought I should try to give them the heads up. My neighbor thanked me for letting her know because her daughter didn’t say a word about it after she walked in the front door. The neighbor said she would go over the story of Jesus with her girls tonight just to be safe. She also pointed out that my husband could spared himself all of this if he had just set Joseph in the stable next to the Baby Jesus. I giggled and said that I had already pointed that out. He agreed that next time he would just stick to the standard set up.
My husband decided that now that the children are a little older we should have the manger set up. So, he set the manger up on the table by the front door. He put the Baby Jesus and Mary in the stable but he set Joseph and the 3 wise men along with the camels and a cow outside the manger looking in. Not your normal set up. Well, this caused some confusion with the neighbor’s daughter who is 4 years old. She walked past the manger on her way out the door to go home and noticed the strange set up of the manager. She looked at my husband and asked “Where is the Daddy?” Now my husband, being the devout Muslim that he is, said, “There is no daddy.”
Now begins the confusion:
4 year old neighbor (whose family is Mormon): “But where’s the daddy?”
My Husband: “There is no daddy. God willed Jesus to be born. It was a miracle called the Immaculate Conception.” Now, how many of you knew Islam believed in the Imaculate Conception? I didn't and I've been married to this man and dealing with this culture for 20 years all together.
Princess (my 6 year old) after pondering this for a moment: “Well then who is Joseph, Mary’s boyfriend?”
My husband (wondering how he got himself in this mess): “No, Joseph was Mary’s husband, but he is not Jesus’ daddy. Jesus did not have a daddy.”
Princess: “So, Joseph was Jesus’ Step-daddy?”
My husband: “Well, sort of.”
Princess (who, by the way, had announced that Frosty the Snowman has a wife named Sally so now they can have children just this past Sunday): “So, how was Jesus born if he didn’t have a daddy?”
My Husband (really trying to keep a straight face): “Jesus doesn’t have a daddy because God willed Jesus to be born.”
4 year old neighbor: “But where’s the daddy?”
My husband (giving up before he digs himself in any deeper): “I think you need to go ask your Mom about that.”
He then walked her home, but did not warn her mother about the conversation that had taken place. I gave her a call later that evening because I felt I should warn her. I just knew that this Sunday in the middle of church that lovely little girl is going to repeat her interpretation of the story of Baby Jesus as told to her by Mr. M. I can just hear it now. “Jesus doesn’t have a daddy. Mr. M told me so. Did you know Joseph was Mary’s boyfriend? ” I like my neighbors, so I thought I should try to give them the heads up. My neighbor thanked me for letting her know because her daughter didn’t say a word about it after she walked in the front door. The neighbor said she would go over the story of Jesus with her girls tonight just to be safe. She also pointed out that my husband could spared himself all of this if he had just set Joseph in the stable next to the Baby Jesus. I giggled and said that I had already pointed that out. He agreed that next time he would just stick to the standard set up.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Like my new haircut?
It is never a good sign when the 3 year old comes upstairs and says "Mommy, how do you like my new haircut?" Now she's the fifth child, so I know hair will grow back and honestly looking at her I can't tell she's cut her hair. She has so much that it really doesn't look any different. But I know the older children are downstairs cutting paper to decorate for Christmas and don't doubt that Precious has cut her hair. It's my own fault, I have had my nose in my laptop working most of the weekend. We are having some production issues with the new system at work so I've spent very little time really paying attention to the children all weekend. I just set them up on a project and do a walkthrough every so often to make sure no one is too out of hand. There are lots of messes being made in the family room at the moment. Princess and the Imp are in the process of building forts all around the room, which consist of every toy and chair we own being used to build a miniature version of the wall of China in our family room. This will also include every sheets out of the laundry strung from the sofas to the top of the tallest nearby toy or chair. It makes me wonder why I've bothered to wash the sheet because you just know that someone is going spill something any minute. Son #1 and #2 are making snowflakes for the front, which do you think any of the paper cut outs from the snowflakes will be dropped in the trash can? Oh no, that's what Mom has a vacuum for. Now I also need to figure out where the pieces of cut hair are so I can get that all vacuumed up. It's always an exciting weekend at our house.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
How do you handle the Holidays
Sorry, I know I’ve been away for a while. Life just gets in the way sometimes.
Well, the topic that always seems to come up around this time of year; came up again last week. The topic of “Just how do you handle the holidays?”. It’s probably the second or third most popular question I get.
Why, do people ask you that, you might be asking yourself?
Actually, the answer is very understandable. Not only are we an unusually large family but we are a multicultural, multi-religion family. So, it is a question I tend to expect once people get to know me and know that I’m not offended by such questions.
Just to bring everyone up to speed, I am a typical mid-westerner with blond hair (thanks to my stylist) and green eyes who is from a small town in Ohio. I am often told I’m not what people expect if they have seen my name before meeting me. The reason for that would be my last name. To help build a good relationship with my husband’s family I took his last name when we got married. I didn’t legally change it for many years and four children later, but that’s actually a whole separate story that I’ll tell another time. However, it is a name I’ve grown into and have come to have fun with. Not to give away to much personal information on the internet, my last name is not only an obviously Middle Eastern last name but it’s obviously Muslim. So, when blond hair, green eyed, very pale me walks in the room people are a little confused. I’ve actually had a mechanic at the body shop look at everyone in the room but me calling my name. I later realized that he had walked right past me and looked outside first for some who looked more like he expected. It’s kind of humorous. Preconceived notions always make me laugh.
For many years I had a lot of fun confusing people with my name. My first job out of college I was Technical support representative for a software development tool. There would be time while we were waiting for the tool to finish its task that we’d make small talk with the customers. You know, “What’s the weather like there? Where are you from? etc.” The “where are you from question” came up most often with the foreign engineers and they just made it too easy to have fun at their expense. This is how the conversation would go:
Engineer: “So, where are you from?”
Me: “Ohio”
Engineer: “Where are your parents from?” Smugly, thinking he’s figured it out.
Me: “Ohio”
Engineer: Now a bit confused sounding: “Where did your parents grow up?”
Me: “Ohio”
Engineer: Now really perplexed: “Where did their parents grow up?”
Me: Trying not to laugh “Ohio”
Engineer: Always being polite “Not to be too personal, but aren’t you Muslim?”
Me: “Not a problem; no, actually I’m not.”
This is generally where I’d let them off the hook because they are so thoroughly confused and explain that my husband is from Iran. In 5 years of working phone support only one person ever actually figured it out on their own. That person was another American woman who was also married to an Iranian. They lived in Chicago. Maybe it’s something about women from the mid-west.
Well, not only is Hubby from Iran but he is a Shi’a Muslim. Now here’s where I start blowing the stereotypes out of the water.
1. Hubby is obviously very open minded (he married me didn’t he? See my religious beliefs above and read any of my other posts).
2. He’s also extremely supportive of my career. He knew I was not the Susie homemaker type when he met me and he's okay with that. When we met I actually used to refer to marriage as the "M" word and actually never planned to marry or have children kind of ironic, huh?
3. He cooks and does laundry (again see some of my other posts).
4. He also cleans and changes diapers.
We approach our marriage as a team. What one of us can’t get to the other will. We also play to each other strengths – He’s a better cook than me, so he does most of the cooking (I get to make breakfast on the weekends). I love to shop and actually enjoy running errands, so I most of the grocery shopping and the running around that needs done (with and without a child or two in tow).
I digress, as usual, so, how we handle the holidays is to celebrate both the Christian and Muslim holidays. We approach the time more as a time for family than a time for religion but have taught the children the stories of both Jesus and Mohammed. We will leave it up to kids to choose which religion they follow when they get older. We do stress our morals and acceptable behavior to them but that’s about as far as it goes for now.
We’re in luck, since we live in a very diverse neighborhood, it all works. This is how our street looks. Next door is a family from India who is Hindu, across the street is a Mormon family and another Muslim family lives next to them, who are interestingly enough from Chicago. The Mom from that family is fairly religious (but not pushy) and wears a Hijab (which is the scarf to cover her hair and she’s always in long sleeves and long skirts or loose fitting pants). She and I always have a good laugh when people compliment her English. She’s American born and raised. Those darn preconceived notions again.
Well, the topic that always seems to come up around this time of year; came up again last week. The topic of “Just how do you handle the holidays?”. It’s probably the second or third most popular question I get.
Why, do people ask you that, you might be asking yourself?
Actually, the answer is very understandable. Not only are we an unusually large family but we are a multicultural, multi-religion family. So, it is a question I tend to expect once people get to know me and know that I’m not offended by such questions.
Just to bring everyone up to speed, I am a typical mid-westerner with blond hair (thanks to my stylist) and green eyes who is from a small town in Ohio. I am often told I’m not what people expect if they have seen my name before meeting me. The reason for that would be my last name. To help build a good relationship with my husband’s family I took his last name when we got married. I didn’t legally change it for many years and four children later, but that’s actually a whole separate story that I’ll tell another time. However, it is a name I’ve grown into and have come to have fun with. Not to give away to much personal information on the internet, my last name is not only an obviously Middle Eastern last name but it’s obviously Muslim. So, when blond hair, green eyed, very pale me walks in the room people are a little confused. I’ve actually had a mechanic at the body shop look at everyone in the room but me calling my name. I later realized that he had walked right past me and looked outside first for some who looked more like he expected. It’s kind of humorous. Preconceived notions always make me laugh.
For many years I had a lot of fun confusing people with my name. My first job out of college I was Technical support representative for a software development tool. There would be time while we were waiting for the tool to finish its task that we’d make small talk with the customers. You know, “What’s the weather like there? Where are you from? etc.” The “where are you from question” came up most often with the foreign engineers and they just made it too easy to have fun at their expense. This is how the conversation would go:
Engineer: “So, where are you from?”
Me: “Ohio”
Engineer: “Where are your parents from?” Smugly, thinking he’s figured it out.
Me: “Ohio”
Engineer: Now a bit confused sounding: “Where did your parents grow up?”
Me: “Ohio”
Engineer: Now really perplexed: “Where did their parents grow up?”
Me: Trying not to laugh “Ohio”
Engineer: Always being polite “Not to be too personal, but aren’t you Muslim?”
Me: “Not a problem; no, actually I’m not.”
This is generally where I’d let them off the hook because they are so thoroughly confused and explain that my husband is from Iran. In 5 years of working phone support only one person ever actually figured it out on their own. That person was another American woman who was also married to an Iranian. They lived in Chicago. Maybe it’s something about women from the mid-west.
Well, not only is Hubby from Iran but he is a Shi’a Muslim. Now here’s where I start blowing the stereotypes out of the water.
1. Hubby is obviously very open minded (he married me didn’t he? See my religious beliefs above and read any of my other posts).
2. He’s also extremely supportive of my career. He knew I was not the Susie homemaker type when he met me and he's okay with that. When we met I actually used to refer to marriage as the "M" word and actually never planned to marry or have children kind of ironic, huh?
3. He cooks and does laundry (again see some of my other posts).
4. He also cleans and changes diapers.
We approach our marriage as a team. What one of us can’t get to the other will. We also play to each other strengths – He’s a better cook than me, so he does most of the cooking (I get to make breakfast on the weekends). I love to shop and actually enjoy running errands, so I most of the grocery shopping and the running around that needs done (with and without a child or two in tow).
I digress, as usual, so, how we handle the holidays is to celebrate both the Christian and Muslim holidays. We approach the time more as a time for family than a time for religion but have taught the children the stories of both Jesus and Mohammed. We will leave it up to kids to choose which religion they follow when they get older. We do stress our morals and acceptable behavior to them but that’s about as far as it goes for now.
We’re in luck, since we live in a very diverse neighborhood, it all works. This is how our street looks. Next door is a family from India who is Hindu, across the street is a Mormon family and another Muslim family lives next to them, who are interestingly enough from Chicago. The Mom from that family is fairly religious (but not pushy) and wears a Hijab (which is the scarf to cover her hair and she’s always in long sleeves and long skirts or loose fitting pants). She and I always have a good laugh when people compliment her English. She’s American born and raised. Those darn preconceived notions again.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Where was your last date?
I was sitting at my desk last week when my new boss came over to the Admin Assistant, who sits across from me, and asked her if she was single. At first she did not know how to answer this question since my boss has only been with the company a few weeks. Seeing her hesitation he said “Just come here for a minute. Michelle, you come too you should hear this too.” Not sure what to expect, we followed him over to the desk of the Manager of our Technical Support team (let’s call him MTS).
Boss: “Now tell them what you just told me.”
MTS: “Well my in-laws are in town for a few weeks and my wife and I took advantage of them being here Saturday and went on a date.”
Boss: “Tell them where you went.”
MTS: “Well, we had some things that we needed to pick up, so while we didn’t have kids along we decided to stop at Target on the way to dinner.”
Boss to the Admin Assistant: “Now if your boyfriend looked at you and said we’re going out to dinner and then took you to dinner how would you react?
Admin Assistant: “Well that depends, is he buying something for me?”
Me: “Now, wait a minute are you saying you’ve never had a date with your wife that started out with running some errands.”
Boss: “No. My wife would never go for that.”
MTS (a little apologetically): “Well it was my wife’s idea.”
Me: “Don’t feel bad my last date with my husband started off at Wal-Mart then moved to Burlington Coat Factory to buy some shirts for my son. Only after doing some shopping did we stop for dinner.”
Boss: “You’re joking, right?”
Me: “No. Actually we have a running joke about a Christmas Eve date we have a few years ago. My parents had taken the kids, so we left to go out to dinner. On the way out we decided to check for one last gift. That stop took longer than expected, so rather than go to a restaurant we stopped at a carry out for dinner. We ended up eating subs sitting in the car in the parking lot that night.”
Boss: “And you’re still married? For how long?”
Me: “Yes, 14 years. But we were out without children and that’s what matters right?”
MTS: “Yes. I’m with you. It’s not about where you go, but that you go there together without children.”
Boss (to the Assistant): “Agreed, but if your boyfriend looked at you and said let’s go out on a date to Target; how would you react?”
Admin Assistant (laughing): “Well, after this conversation with two people who have been married for a while, I think my answer should be: Sure! Apparently that’s how happily married people start their dates. Maybe I’d become one of those happily married people”
I don’t know about that, but most of our dates the last few years start off with some sort of errand or school meeting first. I hadn’t realized that till this conversation took place … I think I’ll repeat this conversation to my husband. See if I get a date that is just a date out of it or if he just laughs and says “See it’s not just us.”
Boss: “Now tell them what you just told me.”
MTS: “Well my in-laws are in town for a few weeks and my wife and I took advantage of them being here Saturday and went on a date.”
Boss: “Tell them where you went.”
MTS: “Well, we had some things that we needed to pick up, so while we didn’t have kids along we decided to stop at Target on the way to dinner.”
Boss to the Admin Assistant: “Now if your boyfriend looked at you and said we’re going out to dinner and then took you to dinner how would you react?
Admin Assistant: “Well that depends, is he buying something for me?”
Me: “Now, wait a minute are you saying you’ve never had a date with your wife that started out with running some errands.”
Boss: “No. My wife would never go for that.”
MTS (a little apologetically): “Well it was my wife’s idea.”
Me: “Don’t feel bad my last date with my husband started off at Wal-Mart then moved to Burlington Coat Factory to buy some shirts for my son. Only after doing some shopping did we stop for dinner.”
Boss: “You’re joking, right?”
Me: “No. Actually we have a running joke about a Christmas Eve date we have a few years ago. My parents had taken the kids, so we left to go out to dinner. On the way out we decided to check for one last gift. That stop took longer than expected, so rather than go to a restaurant we stopped at a carry out for dinner. We ended up eating subs sitting in the car in the parking lot that night.”
Boss: “And you’re still married? For how long?”
Me: “Yes, 14 years. But we were out without children and that’s what matters right?”
MTS: “Yes. I’m with you. It’s not about where you go, but that you go there together without children.”
Boss (to the Assistant): “Agreed, but if your boyfriend looked at you and said let’s go out on a date to Target; how would you react?”
Admin Assistant (laughing): “Well, after this conversation with two people who have been married for a while, I think my answer should be: Sure! Apparently that’s how happily married people start their dates. Maybe I’d become one of those happily married people”
I don’t know about that, but most of our dates the last few years start off with some sort of errand or school meeting first. I hadn’t realized that till this conversation took place … I think I’ll repeat this conversation to my husband. See if I get a date that is just a date out of it or if he just laughs and says “See it’s not just us.”
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Funny on the way to work this morning
Ok, So I’m listening to the listening to one of the local Baltimore Rock stations this morning on the way to work and I hear “…this week in Goshen, Ohio …” well of course my ears perk up…that’s my home town…on the radio...in Baltimore. Maybe someone there has found the cure for cancer!!!
So the new cast goes:
“This week in Goshen Ohio the high school cheerleading coach is arrested for posing topless with a 15 year old cheerleader at a party. Andrew Emerson, a Teacher at the school, has also been fired for hosting the party and serving alcohol to underage students.”
Oh, my GAWD!!! Andrew Emerson, a man I know as Mr. Emerson (who was a teacher there when I was in high school ... he must be pretty old by this point), has been fired and the cheerleading coach posed topless with minors!!!! Glad to know my home town is working its way into the history books somehow. Excuse me while I try not to run my car off the road laughing... oh I mean in shock.
So the new cast goes:
“This week in Goshen Ohio the high school cheerleading coach is arrested for posing topless with a 15 year old cheerleader at a party. Andrew Emerson, a Teacher at the school, has also been fired for hosting the party and serving alcohol to underage students.”
Oh, my GAWD!!! Andrew Emerson, a man I know as Mr. Emerson (who was a teacher there when I was in high school ... he must be pretty old by this point), has been fired and the cheerleading coach posed topless with minors!!!! Glad to know my home town is working its way into the history books somehow. Excuse me while I try not to run my car off the road laughing... oh I mean in shock.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
My husband just paid $80 dollars for someone to tell him what I told him weeks ago
As I’ve mentioned before my washer is acting up. It has overflowed into the playroom on me twice. After the first repairman could find nothing wrong, I suggested we go ahead a get a new washer anyway because I didn’t trust it. Besides it was the washer that was here when we bought the house and we really need one of those larger capacity washers anyway. This was not a convincing enough argument for my husband. He explained that since he did most of the laundry (…yes – he does most of the laundry …) that he’d rather wait to see if it happens again. I fortunately had the good sense not to put to area rug back down in the playroom. So when it overflowed the second time (once again when I was home alone) I only had to deal with drying up the water off the tile not dragging a large, wet area rugs out to the backyard and throwing them over the swing set like the first time.
My neighbors oh so love that look…. Actually they don’t complain but rather laugh at (with) me for not buying a new washer ….
However, the third time it overflowed I wasn’t home. My hubby was. Add to it that it had been over a week since it had happened the last time so, we had not only put the old area rug back down but had put a second 8 x 11 carpet down to cover the tile in the front part of the playroom for the winter. Oh and did I mention it happened an hour and a half before guests were arriving for my daughter's birthday party. I came back from my son’s music lesson to the sound of the vacuum running, which was odd because I had already run the vacuum for the party. I walked downstairs to find my husband cursing and trying to get as much of the water out of the carpets as he could using the wet vac before trying to move them. Needless to say Hubby suddenly agreed we might need a new washer, but he wanted a second opinion. He had a second repair man come and not only look at the washer but see if he could fix the upper heating element in the oven (I’m not sure how long that’s been out – again another appliance he uses more than I do). Well, I could hug this repair man. He told my husband that not only was it not worth fixing the washer and we should just buy a new one, but we really should just bite the bullet and redo the kitchen as well.
Yippeee!!! I get to update the kitchen!!!!
Now what you need to understand is that we have the original 1957 kitchen from when this house was built (aside from the appliances that were up dated about 15 years ago). We have the original metal cabinets and fake marble looking counter tops. Oh, such a lovely look, but not my style. The linoleum was also replaced some years ago but I’ve never really liked it. You’d think my Chef husband would have wanted to update the kitchen right after we moved in but it was such an improvement over the kitchen in our townhouse that he was happy to let it be. Now he’s all into figuring out the best way to redo the kitchen. His first thought was to go totally professional with stainless steal counter tops and wire shelving. I’ve explained that while very functional a totally stainless steal kitchen would be kind of ugly (in my humble opinion) and the fingerprints of 5 children would be a constant battle. Now the great kitchen design adventure begins…and I get a new washer too!
My neighbors oh so love that look…. Actually they don’t complain but rather laugh at (with) me for not buying a new washer ….
However, the third time it overflowed I wasn’t home. My hubby was. Add to it that it had been over a week since it had happened the last time so, we had not only put the old area rug back down but had put a second 8 x 11 carpet down to cover the tile in the front part of the playroom for the winter. Oh and did I mention it happened an hour and a half before guests were arriving for my daughter's birthday party. I came back from my son’s music lesson to the sound of the vacuum running, which was odd because I had already run the vacuum for the party. I walked downstairs to find my husband cursing and trying to get as much of the water out of the carpets as he could using the wet vac before trying to move them. Needless to say Hubby suddenly agreed we might need a new washer, but he wanted a second opinion. He had a second repair man come and not only look at the washer but see if he could fix the upper heating element in the oven (I’m not sure how long that’s been out – again another appliance he uses more than I do). Well, I could hug this repair man. He told my husband that not only was it not worth fixing the washer and we should just buy a new one, but we really should just bite the bullet and redo the kitchen as well.
Yippeee!!! I get to update the kitchen!!!!
Now what you need to understand is that we have the original 1957 kitchen from when this house was built (aside from the appliances that were up dated about 15 years ago). We have the original metal cabinets and fake marble looking counter tops. Oh, such a lovely look, but not my style. The linoleum was also replaced some years ago but I’ve never really liked it. You’d think my Chef husband would have wanted to update the kitchen right after we moved in but it was such an improvement over the kitchen in our townhouse that he was happy to let it be. Now he’s all into figuring out the best way to redo the kitchen. His first thought was to go totally professional with stainless steal counter tops and wire shelving. I’ve explained that while very functional a totally stainless steal kitchen would be kind of ugly (in my humble opinion) and the fingerprints of 5 children would be a constant battle. Now the great kitchen design adventure begins…and I get a new washer too!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
My Mr. M bought me this chocolate
Precious comes down stairs tonight eating a piece of chocolate. As soon as the other children smell anything that might be chocolate they come running.
Princess (the 6 year old): “I want Chocolate. Where’d she get chocolate?”
Mom: “I have no idea. Precious where did you get chocolate?”
Precious: “My Mr. M bought me this chocolate.”
Now here is where I should explain the Mr. M is the name the neighbor’s children call my husband. Precious has picked up on this and rather than calling him Daddy she’ll call him “My Mr. M”
Mom: “Ok, but where is it?”
Precious: “My Mr. M bought me this chocolate.”
Now all four other children: “We want chocolate. How come she gets chocolate and we don’t? That’s not fair…”
Once again it’s the implication that we might love one child more than the others from the ones who feel slighted to try to guilt Mom. It works, but only becasue I want some chocolate too. The desperate phone call is now made to my husband ….
Mom: “Did you buy chocolate today?”
Dad: Laughing …”Yes, but that was supposed to be my secret …”
Mom: “Well you’ve been given up. Precious got some out to eat but is not sharing where the stash is.”
Dad: “Do I have to tell?”
Other four Children in the background: “Dad, we want chocolate too!! Why does Precious get chocolate and we don’t?”
Mom: “I’m on the verge of a small riot here. Could you please tell me where the chocolate is?”
Dad: Laughing and enjoying this a bit too much. “It’s in the china cabinet, but don’t let the kids see where you get it from. I need a place to keep my secret chocolate.”
Mom: “I’ll try as long as you save some for me, but how did Precious get it out?”
Dad: “I’m not sure …That’s a mystery for you to solve.”
Well everyone got a piece of chocolate (I had two) and I still haven’t solved the mystery of how Precious got the first piece of chocolate. I think this one has learned from the mistakes of the others and knows not to leave the tell tale wrapper or chair next to the counter. This is very worrying. I count on the kids leaving clues behind to figure out who did what because they will cover for each other. I actual watched my oldest see one of other kids leave the milk out but when I asked him who did it. He said "I don't know it was out when I got here." I guess will have to punish that “NotMe” guy for a while.
Princess (the 6 year old): “I want Chocolate. Where’d she get chocolate?”
Mom: “I have no idea. Precious where did you get chocolate?”
Precious: “My Mr. M bought me this chocolate.”
Now here is where I should explain the Mr. M is the name the neighbor’s children call my husband. Precious has picked up on this and rather than calling him Daddy she’ll call him “My Mr. M”
Mom: “Ok, but where is it?”
Precious: “My Mr. M bought me this chocolate.”
Now all four other children: “We want chocolate. How come she gets chocolate and we don’t? That’s not fair…”
Once again it’s the implication that we might love one child more than the others from the ones who feel slighted to try to guilt Mom. It works, but only becasue I want some chocolate too. The desperate phone call is now made to my husband ….
Mom: “Did you buy chocolate today?”
Dad: Laughing …”Yes, but that was supposed to be my secret …”
Mom: “Well you’ve been given up. Precious got some out to eat but is not sharing where the stash is.”
Dad: “Do I have to tell?”
Other four Children in the background: “Dad, we want chocolate too!! Why does Precious get chocolate and we don’t?”
Mom: “I’m on the verge of a small riot here. Could you please tell me where the chocolate is?”
Dad: Laughing and enjoying this a bit too much. “It’s in the china cabinet, but don’t let the kids see where you get it from. I need a place to keep my secret chocolate.”
Mom: “I’ll try as long as you save some for me, but how did Precious get it out?”
Dad: “I’m not sure …That’s a mystery for you to solve.”
Well everyone got a piece of chocolate (I had two) and I still haven’t solved the mystery of how Precious got the first piece of chocolate. I think this one has learned from the mistakes of the others and knows not to leave the tell tale wrapper or chair next to the counter. This is very worrying. I count on the kids leaving clues behind to figure out who did what because they will cover for each other. I actual watched my oldest see one of other kids leave the milk out but when I asked him who did it. He said "I don't know it was out when I got here." I guess will have to punish that “NotMe” guy for a while.
Monday, October 22, 2007
How about we have Lobster then?
Before you read the dialog below, let me explain the we live in Maryland where steamed crabs are a common meal during the summer.
Imp: "Mom, when are we going to have crabs for dinner again?"
Mom: "Not till next summer. They're out of season now."
Imp: "Well how about we have lobster? I've seen people eat them."
Mom: "I'll ask Daddy about that."
Later after the children are in bed, I gave my husband a call at work:
Mom: " So the Imp asked when were going to have crabs again."
Dad: "They're out of season. We can't any decent ones till next summer."
Mom: "I know. I told him that, but he had a suggestion of something else for dinner."
Dad: "What?"
Mom: "Lobster"
Dad: "Where'd he get that idea?" Laughing
Mom: "I don't know, but he said he has seen people eat them."
Dad: "Well, did he specify if he wanted lobster tail or whole main?" (Always the Chef)
Mom: "No, but he said he's seen people eat them."
Dad: "Maybe I'll bring some shrimp home. We haven't had shrimp in a while"
Mom: "Maybe you can explain to the Imp that they are like mini-lobsters."
Dad: "Yeah, that'll work." Snickering.
I think I need to explain the cost of feeding 7 people and that lobster just isn't practical for dinner for everyone...
Imp: "Mom, when are we going to have crabs for dinner again?"
Mom: "Not till next summer. They're out of season now."
Imp: "Well how about we have lobster? I've seen people eat them."
Mom: "I'll ask Daddy about that."
Later after the children are in bed, I gave my husband a call at work:
Mom: " So the Imp asked when were going to have crabs again."
Dad: "They're out of season. We can't any decent ones till next summer."
Mom: "I know. I told him that, but he had a suggestion of something else for dinner."
Dad: "What?"
Mom: "Lobster"
Dad: "Where'd he get that idea?" Laughing
Mom: "I don't know, but he said he has seen people eat them."
Dad: "Well, did he specify if he wanted lobster tail or whole main?" (Always the Chef)
Mom: "No, but he said he's seen people eat them."
Dad: "Maybe I'll bring some shrimp home. We haven't had shrimp in a while"
Mom: "Maybe you can explain to the Imp that they are like mini-lobsters."
Dad: "Yeah, that'll work." Snickering.
I think I need to explain the cost of feeding 7 people and that lobster just isn't practical for dinner for everyone...
Monday, October 15, 2007
I’m too tired to sleep ….
So here is how bed time has started off tonight, 3 of the children are sleeping in their own beds. My second son is sleeping in Precious’ bed because it is quieter in the girl’s room. Precious is in bed with me because she’s still awake. Since the other children have school tomorrow, I’ve kept her with me so she will at least lie down and be quiet. Of course, she’s watching TV so, who knows when she’ll actually sleep, but that’s a separate issue. What this means is when my husband comes home he’ll probably sleep in our son’s bed because he won’t risk waking Precious moving her.
This sort of musical beds happens often in our house. Since my hubby works nights, he often comes home to find his side of the bed occupied because either someone had a bad dream or brothers who won’t stop making funny noises or the crickets are chirping too loud or “I’m too tired to sleep”. I really haven’t figured that one out – but it’s one I get quite often from my second son when he’s having trouble sleeping.
It’s not a regular thing with any one child; they seem to take turns. This makes me think there are secret meetings where the children plot things that will drive Mom and Dad crazy. Seriously, I think they draw straws to determine whose turn it is to act up each day.
Anyway, I know you all are thinking “Well it’s your own fault for letting them in your bed to begin with …” Well, true, but honestly this way I get more sleep. And I’m someone who needs her sleep. I learned this during the first few months of my oldest son’s life. I often term that time of my life “Survival.” And I still went on to have five more … figure that one out. I wonder if years from now my oldest will appreciate being the child we experimented on the most ...
This sort of musical beds happens often in our house. Since my hubby works nights, he often comes home to find his side of the bed occupied because either someone had a bad dream or brothers who won’t stop making funny noises or the crickets are chirping too loud or “I’m too tired to sleep”. I really haven’t figured that one out – but it’s one I get quite often from my second son when he’s having trouble sleeping.
It’s not a regular thing with any one child; they seem to take turns. This makes me think there are secret meetings where the children plot things that will drive Mom and Dad crazy. Seriously, I think they draw straws to determine whose turn it is to act up each day.
Anyway, I know you all are thinking “Well it’s your own fault for letting them in your bed to begin with …” Well, true, but honestly this way I get more sleep. And I’m someone who needs her sleep. I learned this during the first few months of my oldest son’s life. I often term that time of my life “Survival.” And I still went on to have five more … figure that one out. I wonder if years from now my oldest will appreciate being the child we experimented on the most ...
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Dady has a little butt...
Ok, today in the middle of the Mall while walking behind my husband, Precious (the 2 year old) announced to everyone in the mall: "Daddy you have a little buttt....................Mommy has a big butt."
Ok, I give up ... where is that exercise video I bought last year ...? I can't wait to see what she looks like after giving birth to 5 children in 10 years ....
Ok, I give up ... where is that exercise video I bought last year ...? I can't wait to see what she looks like after giving birth to 5 children in 10 years ....
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
The Curtain Management System
Well it’s October 9th and it was over 90 today!! What’s that all about???!!! Maybe we should all start paying attention to this global warming thing.
We have central air so I shouldn’t be complaining, right? Wrong! I have a husband who has decided that we should use the air conditioning as little as possible. This has been going on all summer. He refuses to pay more money to “The Man.”
In this case “The Man” is the energy company, whom he believes producing less energy to make it look like there is a shortage and therefore charge higher rates. We’ll discuss his paranoia level another time.
While I agree with my husband on a philosophical level that not using the central air is good for the environment, the reality of temperatures over 90 degrees does have a significant influence on my behavior.
I really can’t complain too much. During the hottest part of the day today I was sitting in a nicely air conditioned office. It was actually a bit cold in the conference room. He is the one here at home suffering in the heat.
In comes the curtain management system. What you first need to understand is that we live in a 1950’s Rancher with a finished walkout basement that faces North/South. One of the things I loved about this house when we first saw it was the 10 foot wide window in the living room and the bright open layout. For the first year we lived here I just had sheers on the window in the living room so I could enjoy the light (and they were cheap). I am a light person – I hate a dark room. I will turn on lights even during the day to make a room brighter. This drives my husband nuts.
Anyway, about the time dear hubby heard about potential energy rate hikes it was decided that we should by “real” curtains for the living room and dining room. Something heavier than sheers, that would help insulate the windows in the winter. Well, any excuse to shop, right? I went looking for new curtains.
I found some curtains I really loved and of course we then needed new curtain rods to hang them and the things to hang on each side of the window so I can pull the curtain back to let in the light.
After the new curtain rods, curtains and tie backs were hung my husband then explained the curtain management system.
During hot days he will go around the house closing the curtains on the windows where the sun is starting to come it. Thus preventing extra heat build up in the house. Then as the sun moves through the day he will open the curtains previously shut to let in the breeze and close others which will keep the house cooler during the day and minimizing the need to turn on the air conditioning. On cold days he does exactly the opposite. He opens the curtains to let the sunlight in and warm up the house keeping the heat from needing to kick on as often. It took me awhile to buy into the curtain management system. Since we have a basement that stays relatively comfortable unless it’s really humid out, I didn’t complain too much. I just retreated to the basement and stayed there – since that’s where our family room and my office is it wasn’t too hard. However, after we got out first Gas and Electric bill this summer I have to admit I was convinced. It was just $150 dollars. That’s for a 2700 square foot house that has 6 people in it all day with computers, video games and TVs going. Not bad really. Maybe everyone should try the curtain management system….
We have central air so I shouldn’t be complaining, right? Wrong! I have a husband who has decided that we should use the air conditioning as little as possible. This has been going on all summer. He refuses to pay more money to “The Man.”
In this case “The Man” is the energy company, whom he believes producing less energy to make it look like there is a shortage and therefore charge higher rates. We’ll discuss his paranoia level another time.
While I agree with my husband on a philosophical level that not using the central air is good for the environment, the reality of temperatures over 90 degrees does have a significant influence on my behavior.
I really can’t complain too much. During the hottest part of the day today I was sitting in a nicely air conditioned office. It was actually a bit cold in the conference room. He is the one here at home suffering in the heat.
In comes the curtain management system. What you first need to understand is that we live in a 1950’s Rancher with a finished walkout basement that faces North/South. One of the things I loved about this house when we first saw it was the 10 foot wide window in the living room and the bright open layout. For the first year we lived here I just had sheers on the window in the living room so I could enjoy the light (and they were cheap). I am a light person – I hate a dark room. I will turn on lights even during the day to make a room brighter. This drives my husband nuts.
Anyway, about the time dear hubby heard about potential energy rate hikes it was decided that we should by “real” curtains for the living room and dining room. Something heavier than sheers, that would help insulate the windows in the winter. Well, any excuse to shop, right? I went looking for new curtains.
I found some curtains I really loved and of course we then needed new curtain rods to hang them and the things to hang on each side of the window so I can pull the curtain back to let in the light.
After the new curtain rods, curtains and tie backs were hung my husband then explained the curtain management system.
During hot days he will go around the house closing the curtains on the windows where the sun is starting to come it. Thus preventing extra heat build up in the house. Then as the sun moves through the day he will open the curtains previously shut to let in the breeze and close others which will keep the house cooler during the day and minimizing the need to turn on the air conditioning. On cold days he does exactly the opposite. He opens the curtains to let the sunlight in and warm up the house keeping the heat from needing to kick on as often. It took me awhile to buy into the curtain management system. Since we have a basement that stays relatively comfortable unless it’s really humid out, I didn’t complain too much. I just retreated to the basement and stayed there – since that’s where our family room and my office is it wasn’t too hard. However, after we got out first Gas and Electric bill this summer I have to admit I was convinced. It was just $150 dollars. That’s for a 2700 square foot house that has 6 people in it all day with computers, video games and TVs going. Not bad really. Maybe everyone should try the curtain management system….
Monday, October 8, 2007
Mom has a big butt ...
“Mom, you have a big butt…” that was the announcement from my 2 year old this evening. Isn’t she just PRECIOUS???!!!
She had followed me into the bathroom … that’s something about being a Mom that no one ever tells you … once they can move and follow you …you will never take a shower or teetle alone again. Oh yeah, you can lock the door before they get in, but then you have to deal with the scratching and whining at the door … “Moooom, I need ….”
That’s how all sentences start, “Mom, I need …” It’s seared into your brain. Why couldn’t they start with “Darling, hard working, thin, adorable mother, if you wouldn’t mind …?” I might not say No so often.
Anyway, I digress, Precious had followed me into the bathroom and I had let her. Partially because she is my last one in diapers and at 2 ½ I’m soooo ready for her to be out of them (maybe she’ll get the idea this time, I think) and partially because I just didn’t want to deal with the knocking at the door the whole time. She proceeds to walk around me, look me up and down and announced her assessment of my shape. Maybe I’ll start that exercise program tomorrow.
Precious is physically ready to stop wearing diapers but being the youngest she is trying to hold on to babyhood for as long as she can. I, on the other hand, am ready for it to be over. I did the math the other day – because that’s what I do when I’m bored -math, I’m geek. I know, it’s ok - we have been buying diapers for almost 13 years straight – never had a break between any of the kids, as none of my children were early potty trainers. At some points I even had two in diapers. Thirteen years, do you know how much money that is??? If you figure an average price for diapers of $15 dollars a week (that accounts for buying in bulk and on sale) it's $10,140.00 dollars. Kind of scary when you think of it that way, isn’t it? Anyway, I started doing the math the other day not just because I’m a geek, but because one of my co-workers was lamenting how he had been buying diapers for six years and was so excited that his youngest started going potty this past weekend. Could I even relate? I’ve been buying diapers for over a decade, I’m not sure I can picture an end … but I can dream can’t I???
She had followed me into the bathroom … that’s something about being a Mom that no one ever tells you … once they can move and follow you …you will never take a shower or teetle alone again. Oh yeah, you can lock the door before they get in, but then you have to deal with the scratching and whining at the door … “Moooom, I need ….”
That’s how all sentences start, “Mom, I need …” It’s seared into your brain. Why couldn’t they start with “Darling, hard working, thin, adorable mother, if you wouldn’t mind …?” I might not say No so often.
Anyway, I digress, Precious had followed me into the bathroom and I had let her. Partially because she is my last one in diapers and at 2 ½ I’m soooo ready for her to be out of them (maybe she’ll get the idea this time, I think) and partially because I just didn’t want to deal with the knocking at the door the whole time. She proceeds to walk around me, look me up and down and announced her assessment of my shape. Maybe I’ll start that exercise program tomorrow.
Precious is physically ready to stop wearing diapers but being the youngest she is trying to hold on to babyhood for as long as she can. I, on the other hand, am ready for it to be over. I did the math the other day – because that’s what I do when I’m bored -math, I’m geek. I know, it’s ok - we have been buying diapers for almost 13 years straight – never had a break between any of the kids, as none of my children were early potty trainers. At some points I even had two in diapers. Thirteen years, do you know how much money that is??? If you figure an average price for diapers of $15 dollars a week (that accounts for buying in bulk and on sale) it's $10,140.00 dollars. Kind of scary when you think of it that way, isn’t it? Anyway, I started doing the math the other day not just because I’m a geek, but because one of my co-workers was lamenting how he had been buying diapers for six years and was so excited that his youngest started going potty this past weekend. Could I even relate? I’ve been buying diapers for over a decade, I’m not sure I can picture an end … but I can dream can’t I???
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Another busy week ...
Once again it's been a while since I've posted anything. I'll try to be a better blogger.
Anyway, it has been another crazy week. We're getting ready for a major release at work and the chaos of the last few weeks before the big event has begun.
The stress level is pretty high. It's to the point that my co-workers were thoroughly convinced I was having a nervous breakdown at my desk the other day. I wasn't, at least not that day.
What I had mistakenly done was decide it was 4:30 in the afternoon and I would check out a link a friend had sent me because it had been a long, rough day. Well, it was a link to a blog entry that I totally identified with and found hysterically funny (mom2my6pack.blogspot.com - check out the entry about the pokemon cards). I was laughing so hard I was literally in tears. Now, I work in one of those open office environments - you know - no real walls, bull-pen type cubes. Anyway, everyone walking by thought I was sitting at my desk sobbing. They were sure that with everything I have to deal with it was only a matter of time. In a matter of minutes an impromptu meeting occurred to discuss who should come over and find out if I was OK. Well, apparently the Admin Assistant, who sits directly behind me, drew the short straw. She quietly walked up behind me and in the softest voice I've ever heard said "Michelle, are you OK?" When I turned around, you've never seen someone look more relieved when she realized I was laughing not crying. Apparently the thought was I had gone over the edge and HR was in the process of being contacted. Makes you wander what kind of image I present on a normal day, doesn't it?
Anyway, it has been another crazy week. We're getting ready for a major release at work and the chaos of the last few weeks before the big event has begun.
The stress level is pretty high. It's to the point that my co-workers were thoroughly convinced I was having a nervous breakdown at my desk the other day. I wasn't, at least not that day.
What I had mistakenly done was decide it was 4:30 in the afternoon and I would check out a link a friend had sent me because it had been a long, rough day. Well, it was a link to a blog entry that I totally identified with and found hysterically funny (mom2my6pack.blogspot.com - check out the entry about the pokemon cards). I was laughing so hard I was literally in tears. Now, I work in one of those open office environments - you know - no real walls, bull-pen type cubes. Anyway, everyone walking by thought I was sitting at my desk sobbing. They were sure that with everything I have to deal with it was only a matter of time. In a matter of minutes an impromptu meeting occurred to discuss who should come over and find out if I was OK. Well, apparently the Admin Assistant, who sits directly behind me, drew the short straw. She quietly walked up behind me and in the softest voice I've ever heard said "Michelle, are you OK?" When I turned around, you've never seen someone look more relieved when she realized I was laughing not crying. Apparently the thought was I had gone over the edge and HR was in the process of being contacted. Makes you wander what kind of image I present on a normal day, doesn't it?
Monday, September 24, 2007
Why my husband had to learn to disassemble toilets
My husband, who was not handy around the house at all when I met him, has gotten very good at disassembling and reassembling toilets. Why, do you ask? Well that would be because of my third son - The IMP.
What you have to realize is my older two sons are just 18 months apart so they are very attached to each other. The IMP is a little over 2 years younger than my second son and therefore almost 4 years younger than my oldest. This is just enough of a gap for The IMP to always feel left out. From the time he could toddle around he was chasing after, really trying to keep up with the older two. Well of course he didn't keep up well, so he went to a different plan of attack. Any kind of attention he can get from his big brother is at least attention in his book. So, he quickly moved to torturing them.
I can remember the day it started. The IMP was about 18 months old. My older two were sitting on the floor watching TV when the IMP walked up behind the two of them, stood right in between them, raised his hands, slapped them both in the back of the head then turned and ran the other direction. Thus the rounds of "tell him to stop not touching me" and "Mom make him stop making that clicking noise" began. He found whatever her could to really get under their skin. He's very good at it too.
Now, at 4 years old my second son was easily scared. The idea of anything creepy or crawly would freak him out. For Halloween that year I had bought this pack of huge (about the size of the palm of your hand) glow in the dark spiders that we had used to decorate the bushes in front of the house. Well, my second son tolerated them but wasn't too thrilled with them. The IMP realized this right away. After spending the day chasing his brother around the house throwing one of the rubber spiders at him, the IMP came up with a brilliant plan. My second son often woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. The IMP figured setting the spider on toilet would be hysterical. Well, it worked, his brother woke up went into the bathroom and proceeded to scream. He threw what ever he could in the direction of the spider, knocking it right into the bowl. He then tried to flush it away. This only lodged the spider at the base of the bowl.
This was the first time my husband had to take a toilet apart to get the stuck toy out. It was a live and learn experience. He got the toilet apart but then cracked the base when trying to put it back on the pipe. We got a new toilet out of that attempt and my husband started to become very friendly with the sales people at Home Depot. Anyway, we had a couple of more incidents with the other rubber spiders and the toilet bowl. Till my husband got fed up and went around collecting all of the rubber spiders and threw them away. Asking me to please not buy any of those silly things ever again.
Well, it didn't end there. We then had a couple of rounds of rubber dinosaurs being flushed down the toilet just for fun. After being threatened with his precious dinosaurs joining the spiders, the animals in the toilet stopped for awhile.
When The IMP was just about 4, we bought a new 2 bathroom house. We had not been in the new house three days when the downstairs toilet became clogged. We did not have to go far to find the culprit. You guessed it, the IMP, but this time he had an explanation. What we had not thought about is that during all of the hustle and bustle of moving into the house my children had been plopped in front of the TV to watch that Disney favorite "Finding Nemo." In that movie there is a line that is repeated more than a few times -- those of you with children may remember -- "All pipes lead to the ocean." Well this thought inspired The IMP. When my husband took apart the toilet this time we found a plastic dinosaur, a Lego boat, a little plastic tree and a fishing hook. Now, the fishing hook had come from a decoration left behind by the previous owners that hung above the snack bar in the family room. Which means the IMP thought this through, because he had to climb on top of the snack bar and untangle the hook from the fishing net that hung from the ceiling.
Dad: "IMP why did you flush these things down the toilet? We had a talk about this and I thought you understood you weren't supposed to flush toys down the toilet??"
IMP: "But Dad that's a plesiosaur and it belongs in the ocean. All pipes lead to the ocean you know."
Dad: " Where did you hear that?"
IMP: "Finding Nemo. All pipes lead to the ocean you know."
Dad: Try to now keep a straight face: "Oh, I didn't realize. Then why did you flush the boat and the tree?"
IMP: " Well I thought the plesiosaur might get tired of swimming so he I sent him a boat to float on. And then I remembered that plesiosaurs are plant eaters, so I sent him the tree."
Dad: Really trying to keep a straight face - he is trying to discipline his child after all. "OK, but why the fishing hook? These are sharp. You know you're not supposed play with these. And what were you doing climbing on top of the snack bar???!!!"
IMP: "After I flushed the dinosaur, the boat and the tree down, I thought that he (meaning the dinosaur) might get bored and might like to do some fishing to keep busy like Grandpa does."
Dad: Really, really trying to keep a straight face. "IMP, I don't want to see anymore toys flushed down the toilet otherwise I'll throw them away. Let set these aside for Mommy to see when she comes home."
What you have to realize is my older two sons are just 18 months apart so they are very attached to each other. The IMP is a little over 2 years younger than my second son and therefore almost 4 years younger than my oldest. This is just enough of a gap for The IMP to always feel left out. From the time he could toddle around he was chasing after, really trying to keep up with the older two. Well of course he didn't keep up well, so he went to a different plan of attack. Any kind of attention he can get from his big brother is at least attention in his book. So, he quickly moved to torturing them.
I can remember the day it started. The IMP was about 18 months old. My older two were sitting on the floor watching TV when the IMP walked up behind the two of them, stood right in between them, raised his hands, slapped them both in the back of the head then turned and ran the other direction. Thus the rounds of "tell him to stop not touching me" and "Mom make him stop making that clicking noise" began. He found whatever her could to really get under their skin. He's very good at it too.
Now, at 4 years old my second son was easily scared. The idea of anything creepy or crawly would freak him out. For Halloween that year I had bought this pack of huge (about the size of the palm of your hand) glow in the dark spiders that we had used to decorate the bushes in front of the house. Well, my second son tolerated them but wasn't too thrilled with them. The IMP realized this right away. After spending the day chasing his brother around the house throwing one of the rubber spiders at him, the IMP came up with a brilliant plan. My second son often woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. The IMP figured setting the spider on toilet would be hysterical. Well, it worked, his brother woke up went into the bathroom and proceeded to scream. He threw what ever he could in the direction of the spider, knocking it right into the bowl. He then tried to flush it away. This only lodged the spider at the base of the bowl.
This was the first time my husband had to take a toilet apart to get the stuck toy out. It was a live and learn experience. He got the toilet apart but then cracked the base when trying to put it back on the pipe. We got a new toilet out of that attempt and my husband started to become very friendly with the sales people at Home Depot. Anyway, we had a couple of more incidents with the other rubber spiders and the toilet bowl. Till my husband got fed up and went around collecting all of the rubber spiders and threw them away. Asking me to please not buy any of those silly things ever again.
Well, it didn't end there. We then had a couple of rounds of rubber dinosaurs being flushed down the toilet just for fun. After being threatened with his precious dinosaurs joining the spiders, the animals in the toilet stopped for awhile.
When The IMP was just about 4, we bought a new 2 bathroom house. We had not been in the new house three days when the downstairs toilet became clogged. We did not have to go far to find the culprit. You guessed it, the IMP, but this time he had an explanation. What we had not thought about is that during all of the hustle and bustle of moving into the house my children had been plopped in front of the TV to watch that Disney favorite "Finding Nemo." In that movie there is a line that is repeated more than a few times -- those of you with children may remember -- "All pipes lead to the ocean." Well this thought inspired The IMP. When my husband took apart the toilet this time we found a plastic dinosaur, a Lego boat, a little plastic tree and a fishing hook. Now, the fishing hook had come from a decoration left behind by the previous owners that hung above the snack bar in the family room. Which means the IMP thought this through, because he had to climb on top of the snack bar and untangle the hook from the fishing net that hung from the ceiling.
Dad: "IMP why did you flush these things down the toilet? We had a talk about this and I thought you understood you weren't supposed to flush toys down the toilet??"
IMP: "But Dad that's a plesiosaur and it belongs in the ocean. All pipes lead to the ocean you know."
Dad: " Where did you hear that?"
IMP: "Finding Nemo. All pipes lead to the ocean you know."
Dad: Try to now keep a straight face: "Oh, I didn't realize. Then why did you flush the boat and the tree?"
IMP: " Well I thought the plesiosaur might get tired of swimming so he I sent him a boat to float on. And then I remembered that plesiosaurs are plant eaters, so I sent him the tree."
Dad: Really trying to keep a straight face - he is trying to discipline his child after all. "OK, but why the fishing hook? These are sharp. You know you're not supposed play with these. And what were you doing climbing on top of the snack bar???!!!"
IMP: "After I flushed the dinosaur, the boat and the tree down, I thought that he (meaning the dinosaur) might get bored and might like to do some fishing to keep busy like Grandpa does."
Dad: Really, really trying to keep a straight face. "IMP, I don't want to see anymore toys flushed down the toilet otherwise I'll throw them away. Let set these aside for Mommy to see when she comes home."
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Birthday party weekend
Sorry I have written in a few days, I've been trying to get caught up on life; a virtually impossible task in my world, but I try anyway. Sometimes it’s the journey not the destiny, right?
We had a birthday party weekend this weekend. Two of my sons had parties to attend on Saturday and we were having my youngest son's party on Sunday. Normally this would not be too much of an issue but this weekend we had some logistical issues. This was mostly because my husband was working a double this Saturday (meaning he had to be at work by 10:30 AM and wouldn't be home till around 2:00 AM). The first party was scheduled for 10:00 AM - Noon and the second party was scheduled for Noon-2:00 PM. Fortunately, it turned out that the first party was being held at a laser Tag place near my husband's work, so he took our second son and dropped him at his party while I fed and dressed the other four, got a shower (leaving the 12 year old in charge for a few minutes - I think he's on a power trip - make a mental note to talk with him about that when we get back), put the diaper bag together, wrapped the present (thank God for gift bags) and went on the great shoe hunt. After finding and getting everyone's shoes on, it was time to head out to the second party. This party was at a bowling alley. It is a very fun place with loud dance music, black lights and lots of arcade games. However, I have to walk in with four kids, get one settled in and bowling shoes on and some how manage to get the other three back out to the car in under 15 minutes, so I can get to the restaurant to pick up my second child from my husband (He had picked up our second son and taken him back to work with him). This is process is something like herding cats. I finally get three children back in the van when my cell phone starts ringing. It's my second child calling to announce he's at work with Dad and he's bored. “When are you getting here to pick me up?" I get there about 20 minutes later to pick him. My oldest then announces he's hungry again.
Oldest child: “Can’t we stay here and have lunch?"
Mom: "No. We had this discussion in the car. We have just enough time to pick up your brother, get back in the van and go back to the bowling alley to pick up your youngest brother."
Oldest child: "But I'm hungry."
Mom: "How can you be hungry we just had breakfast an hour ago?"
Oldest child: “Well, I am. I'm a growing boy you know. "
Dad: "You want a turkey sandwich to eat in the car?"
Oldest Child: "Sure."
Mom: “Can I get a Coke to go? I need some caffeine."
So, we get everyone some food, me some soda and get back in the van. We get to the bowling alley a little before the party is supposed to end, which gets my other four started on "Can we bowl?"
Mom: “Maybe some other time"
Kids: "But mom it looks like fun. Can we bowl? "
Mom: “Not today"
Kids: "But we want to bowl."
Mom: "No. Go see what your brother is doing." This always buys me a little time. I then talk with a couple of the other moms about how fast they are all growing and answer the "How many do you have again?" question.
Oh, the kids are back.
Kids: "Mom, can we go bowling?" Like we never had the previous conversation.
Mom: "Not today. Another time. We need to go home and clean up the house and get ready for your brother's party tomorrow. "
Kids: "But I didn't make the mess."
Mom: "Neither did I, but someone needs to clean it up."
Kids: "Mom, that’s not fair."
Mom: “Well, unless you can find the gremlins who made the mess we need to clean it up.”
Kids: “Mooom.”
Mom: “No we need to go soon.”
Thankfully at this point the overhead lights are turned on and a voice announces party time is over.
Mom: " Oh, darn. Time to go. They have the next set of birthday parties starting and there's no room for us. We'll come another day"
At this point goodie bags are passed out and thoughtful friends that I have had made extras for all of my children. Now I didn't have to go through the "Mom, make him share" argument while trying to drive. Although, maybe I take this thought back. These same thoughtful people have put party horns in each of the bags, so now I'm driving down the road with five children armed with party horns.
The party horns got confiscated by the time we reach the first stop light.
Now I need to at least make my house presentable for the party the next day, so I go on the mad cleaning dash. And I start with the playroom. I start here for two reasons: 1. This is always the messiest room and 2. The washing machine overflowed last night and flooded this room. Oh, did I mention my washer is acting up. Apparently the sensor that tells the machine that it has enough water is occasionally not working causing the machine to overflow into the playroom. Now this has only happened twice, once last week and last night. Of course, there is always some sort of plumbing problem right before guests arrive at our house. The repair man announced everything looked fine to him last week. Well apparently it's not. Fortunately, I had not put the area rugs back down in the playroom after last week's incident so I don't have to drag an 8 x 10 wet rug out of the house and throw it over the swing set again. I'm sure my neighbors love that look. Anyway, I spent my Saturday evening feeding children, changing diapers and cleaning the house.
Wooo, hooo! What an exciting life I have.
This morning I got up and did the grocery run for the food for the party. We set up the table and the food downstairs in the family room, which is right next to the playroom so this will keep the kids contained. Or so I think.
The party went well. We only had one casualty. One of my son's friends thought he'd be funny by dunking his French fries in his soda can. I had just told him to stop when he started crying because he cut his finger. Some cold water and a band-aid and we're all back together.
The boys spent the afternoon alternating between playing video games and climbing the trees in the back yard. I had a couple of organized activities but those went over like a led balloon. "Mom, we're playing." That's fine; less work for me and the football game is on.
My husband and I sit in the family room and keeping one eye on the kids playing out the window and the other eye on the game. A couple of times the kids came in to find out why we were yelling at the TV. Kind of an interesting reversal, but they were happy to hear our team was winning.
Most everything is cleaned up now. Although, the picnic table is still in the family room. I guess I'll take care of that tomorrow. It was a good day and after the post party clean up I'm getting to enjoy a fairly clean house. All of the kids are asleep and my husband's not home yet. All is peaceful and life is good.
Oh! I forgot to talk with the 12 year old about his power trip .... I'd better write myself a note or read my own blog ...
We had a birthday party weekend this weekend. Two of my sons had parties to attend on Saturday and we were having my youngest son's party on Sunday. Normally this would not be too much of an issue but this weekend we had some logistical issues. This was mostly because my husband was working a double this Saturday (meaning he had to be at work by 10:30 AM and wouldn't be home till around 2:00 AM). The first party was scheduled for 10:00 AM - Noon and the second party was scheduled for Noon-2:00 PM. Fortunately, it turned out that the first party was being held at a laser Tag place near my husband's work, so he took our second son and dropped him at his party while I fed and dressed the other four, got a shower (leaving the 12 year old in charge for a few minutes - I think he's on a power trip - make a mental note to talk with him about that when we get back), put the diaper bag together, wrapped the present (thank God for gift bags) and went on the great shoe hunt. After finding and getting everyone's shoes on, it was time to head out to the second party. This party was at a bowling alley. It is a very fun place with loud dance music, black lights and lots of arcade games. However, I have to walk in with four kids, get one settled in and bowling shoes on and some how manage to get the other three back out to the car in under 15 minutes, so I can get to the restaurant to pick up my second child from my husband (He had picked up our second son and taken him back to work with him). This is process is something like herding cats. I finally get three children back in the van when my cell phone starts ringing. It's my second child calling to announce he's at work with Dad and he's bored. “When are you getting here to pick me up?" I get there about 20 minutes later to pick him. My oldest then announces he's hungry again.
Oldest child: “Can’t we stay here and have lunch?"
Mom: "No. We had this discussion in the car. We have just enough time to pick up your brother, get back in the van and go back to the bowling alley to pick up your youngest brother."
Oldest child: "But I'm hungry."
Mom: "How can you be hungry we just had breakfast an hour ago?"
Oldest child: “Well, I am. I'm a growing boy you know. "
Dad: "You want a turkey sandwich to eat in the car?"
Oldest Child: "Sure."
Mom: “Can I get a Coke to go? I need some caffeine."
So, we get everyone some food, me some soda and get back in the van. We get to the bowling alley a little before the party is supposed to end, which gets my other four started on "Can we bowl?"
Mom: “Maybe some other time"
Kids: "But mom it looks like fun. Can we bowl? "
Mom: “Not today"
Kids: "But we want to bowl."
Mom: "No. Go see what your brother is doing." This always buys me a little time. I then talk with a couple of the other moms about how fast they are all growing and answer the "How many do you have again?" question.
Oh, the kids are back.
Kids: "Mom, can we go bowling?" Like we never had the previous conversation.
Mom: "Not today. Another time. We need to go home and clean up the house and get ready for your brother's party tomorrow. "
Kids: "But I didn't make the mess."
Mom: "Neither did I, but someone needs to clean it up."
Kids: "Mom, that’s not fair."
Mom: “Well, unless you can find the gremlins who made the mess we need to clean it up.”
Kids: “Mooom.”
Mom: “No we need to go soon.”
Thankfully at this point the overhead lights are turned on and a voice announces party time is over.
Mom: " Oh, darn. Time to go. They have the next set of birthday parties starting and there's no room for us. We'll come another day"
At this point goodie bags are passed out and thoughtful friends that I have had made extras for all of my children. Now I didn't have to go through the "Mom, make him share" argument while trying to drive. Although, maybe I take this thought back. These same thoughtful people have put party horns in each of the bags, so now I'm driving down the road with five children armed with party horns.
The party horns got confiscated by the time we reach the first stop light.
Now I need to at least make my house presentable for the party the next day, so I go on the mad cleaning dash. And I start with the playroom. I start here for two reasons: 1. This is always the messiest room and 2. The washing machine overflowed last night and flooded this room. Oh, did I mention my washer is acting up. Apparently the sensor that tells the machine that it has enough water is occasionally not working causing the machine to overflow into the playroom. Now this has only happened twice, once last week and last night. Of course, there is always some sort of plumbing problem right before guests arrive at our house. The repair man announced everything looked fine to him last week. Well apparently it's not. Fortunately, I had not put the area rugs back down in the playroom after last week's incident so I don't have to drag an 8 x 10 wet rug out of the house and throw it over the swing set again. I'm sure my neighbors love that look. Anyway, I spent my Saturday evening feeding children, changing diapers and cleaning the house.
Wooo, hooo! What an exciting life I have.
This morning I got up and did the grocery run for the food for the party. We set up the table and the food downstairs in the family room, which is right next to the playroom so this will keep the kids contained. Or so I think.
The party went well. We only had one casualty. One of my son's friends thought he'd be funny by dunking his French fries in his soda can. I had just told him to stop when he started crying because he cut his finger. Some cold water and a band-aid and we're all back together.
The boys spent the afternoon alternating between playing video games and climbing the trees in the back yard. I had a couple of organized activities but those went over like a led balloon. "Mom, we're playing." That's fine; less work for me and the football game is on.
My husband and I sit in the family room and keeping one eye on the kids playing out the window and the other eye on the game. A couple of times the kids came in to find out why we were yelling at the TV. Kind of an interesting reversal, but they were happy to hear our team was winning.
Most everything is cleaned up now. Although, the picnic table is still in the family room. I guess I'll take care of that tomorrow. It was a good day and after the post party clean up I'm getting to enjoy a fairly clean house. All of the kids are asleep and my husband's not home yet. All is peaceful and life is good.
Oh! I forgot to talk with the 12 year old about his power trip .... I'd better write myself a note or read my own blog ...
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
How do you manage?
"How do you manage it all?" That's usually the question that follows "You have five kids and both work full time???!!" I then calmly explain that is how we manage it all. Working full time is how we both keep our sanity. Stay home for more than 10 hours a day with five children and you'd be looking for a way to escape too. Believe me. These little people are demanding, emotional and if I hear "Mommy, he's not touching me again" (yes, not touching me is exactly what is said) or "He keeps making clicking noises at me. He's trying to make me lose the game!!!!" one more time that on some days I think my head may explode. Having a career gives me a great excuse to get out. And certainly allows us to pay the mortgage. I love my kids more than anything but I am a better Mom if I get away for a little bit each day. By the way, the he being referenced in both of the above sentences is usually my third son - The IMP. He's the one who likes to stir the pot. We'll talk more about him later.
Now my husband and I do things a bit differently than most people. I work as a Manager of a Software Testing team. (We're the people who try to break Applications before they are released to the public. Who knew you could get paid to try to break things? But I do. It's pretty cool). My husband is the Kitchen Manager/Chef for a local restaurant. What this means is I works days and he works nights. I try to get home by 5:30 PM three days a week so we can do the tag (transfer of dealing with the children) and he can go to work. There have been days I have been late coming home and this transfer has literally been a tag (like a tag team in wrestling) on the front walk as we pass each other. He works five nights a week but his off days are during the week - mine are the weekends. Now generally the next question is "When do the two of you ever see each other?" Well, it's our theory that not spending too much time together is the key to a happy marriage. There's no time to get annoyed by the way your spouse chews their food or something like that. Seriously though, it is a bit tricky, but actually works out really well. The key is constant communication. I'll generally give him a call after the kids have come home to get the run down of what needs to be done that night and to find out what's for dinner. You didn't think I did the cooking did you?? I'm married to a chef; anything I cook looks pale in comparison. Plus what and how I cook tends to annoy my husband - Kraft Macaroni and Cheese just does measure up to his standards, although my kids love it. They classify this kind of food Mom food. Mom food also includes things like grilled cheese and tomato soup and Pancakes for dinner. The kids will occasionally request Mom food from my husband. It almost killed him but my husband has cooked Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. He did try making fancy, made from scratch macaroni and cheese for them once. After taking a bite and pushing his plate away my second son actually announced "Mom's is better." That child is always telling my husband things like "It needs more salt" or "That's too spicy" or my favorite "It smells funny." Everyone has an opinion don't they? Even at the ripe age of ten.
My husband will give me a call at night after the kid's bedtime to get the run down of what needs to go to school with everyone in the morning and to check to make sure I put away the food and locked all of the doors. Yes, I get asked if I've put away the food most nights. You forget a stew or a soup sitting on the stove four or five times and you're branded for life. He's even gone so far to make sure things are transferred into plastic bowls to be put away after I've eaten and I've still left them sitting on the counter and gone to bed. Now you know why I get the phone call. I also get phone call reminders to come home from work. These generally start at 4:50 PM or so - I should leave work by 5:00 PM to be home by 5:30 PM but I'm often still in a meeting at that time. The first voice mail will be something like, "It's 10 of 5:00 time to stop talking and start shutting down your computer." Then the next one will come around 5:10 PM - "It's 5:10 do you know where your car is? It should have you in it and be on the way home" I generally am listening to this one as I walk to the parking garage. It always makes me smile. A good sense of humor goes a long way to help manage it all.
Now my husband and I do things a bit differently than most people. I work as a Manager of a Software Testing team. (We're the people who try to break Applications before they are released to the public. Who knew you could get paid to try to break things? But I do. It's pretty cool). My husband is the Kitchen Manager/Chef for a local restaurant. What this means is I works days and he works nights. I try to get home by 5:30 PM three days a week so we can do the tag (transfer of dealing with the children) and he can go to work. There have been days I have been late coming home and this transfer has literally been a tag (like a tag team in wrestling) on the front walk as we pass each other. He works five nights a week but his off days are during the week - mine are the weekends. Now generally the next question is "When do the two of you ever see each other?" Well, it's our theory that not spending too much time together is the key to a happy marriage. There's no time to get annoyed by the way your spouse chews their food or something like that. Seriously though, it is a bit tricky, but actually works out really well. The key is constant communication. I'll generally give him a call after the kids have come home to get the run down of what needs to be done that night and to find out what's for dinner. You didn't think I did the cooking did you?? I'm married to a chef; anything I cook looks pale in comparison. Plus what and how I cook tends to annoy my husband - Kraft Macaroni and Cheese just does measure up to his standards, although my kids love it. They classify this kind of food Mom food. Mom food also includes things like grilled cheese and tomato soup and Pancakes for dinner. The kids will occasionally request Mom food from my husband. It almost killed him but my husband has cooked Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. He did try making fancy, made from scratch macaroni and cheese for them once. After taking a bite and pushing his plate away my second son actually announced "Mom's is better." That child is always telling my husband things like "It needs more salt" or "That's too spicy" or my favorite "It smells funny." Everyone has an opinion don't they? Even at the ripe age of ten.
My husband will give me a call at night after the kid's bedtime to get the run down of what needs to go to school with everyone in the morning and to check to make sure I put away the food and locked all of the doors. Yes, I get asked if I've put away the food most nights. You forget a stew or a soup sitting on the stove four or five times and you're branded for life. He's even gone so far to make sure things are transferred into plastic bowls to be put away after I've eaten and I've still left them sitting on the counter and gone to bed. Now you know why I get the phone call. I also get phone call reminders to come home from work. These generally start at 4:50 PM or so - I should leave work by 5:00 PM to be home by 5:30 PM but I'm often still in a meeting at that time. The first voice mail will be something like, "It's 10 of 5:00 time to stop talking and start shutting down your computer." Then the next one will come around 5:10 PM - "It's 5:10 do you know where your car is? It should have you in it and be on the way home" I generally am listening to this one as I walk to the parking garage. It always makes me smile. A good sense of humor goes a long way to help manage it all.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Why 5 children ....
When people ask my why I have five children, I always fall back on the old Bill Cosby line, "Because we didn't want six." I didn't get that joke until I had five children. I now find it absolutely hysterical. I have three boys and two girls. I love my children, but I'll admit there are some very challenging days. I never have a preference for boys or girls until my fourth child. I had the three boys first, so when I came up pregnant the fourth time I was in an absolute panic that I was having a fourth boy.
Now, I should explain the cause of this panic. My father is from a family of four boys and I grew up hearing stories about the things that went on in that house. There is a story of my uncles jumping off the garage roof using various devices. One tried using an umbrella, another a trash bag and a third just a towel tied like a cape. For any children reading, this don't get any bright ideas - none of these things worked and two of them ended up on crutches. The third apparently landed on the trash and smelled so bad even after taking a bath that he had to eat his dinner out on the porch that night. There is another story about someone (and to this day no one will admit who) painting the bathtub in the main bathroom black. There are many more similar stories, but you get the idea. This made me fear a fourth boy. Fortunately for me, my fourth and fifth children were girls.
This has brought about a different kind of panic. I was always a bit of a tom boy, so having a girlie girl is something of a challenge. The first time my daughter announced she wanted to be a princess for Halloween rather than joining her brothers as various members of the Harry Potter cast I didn't know what to do. I tried explaining the Hermione was really smart and could do magic, but she wasn't budging. "But she doesn't wear a crown Mommy" was the answer I got. What was I to do? I bought her the most girlie looking butterfly princess costume I could find. I struggle with this. I want my daughters to grown up knowing they can be anything they set their minds to be and to be healthy well adjusted adults. So, if that means she wants to be a princess for now then I guess she's a princess. Princess isn't that far from President, right? We'll see how it goes.
Now, I should explain the cause of this panic. My father is from a family of four boys and I grew up hearing stories about the things that went on in that house. There is a story of my uncles jumping off the garage roof using various devices. One tried using an umbrella, another a trash bag and a third just a towel tied like a cape. For any children reading, this don't get any bright ideas - none of these things worked and two of them ended up on crutches. The third apparently landed on the trash and smelled so bad even after taking a bath that he had to eat his dinner out on the porch that night. There is another story about someone (and to this day no one will admit who) painting the bathtub in the main bathroom black. There are many more similar stories, but you get the idea. This made me fear a fourth boy. Fortunately for me, my fourth and fifth children were girls.
This has brought about a different kind of panic. I was always a bit of a tom boy, so having a girlie girl is something of a challenge. The first time my daughter announced she wanted to be a princess for Halloween rather than joining her brothers as various members of the Harry Potter cast I didn't know what to do. I tried explaining the Hermione was really smart and could do magic, but she wasn't budging. "But she doesn't wear a crown Mommy" was the answer I got. What was I to do? I bought her the most girlie looking butterfly princess costume I could find. I struggle with this. I want my daughters to grown up knowing they can be anything they set their minds to be and to be healthy well adjusted adults. So, if that means she wants to be a princess for now then I guess she's a princess. Princess isn't that far from President, right? We'll see how it goes.
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