How do you manage?

"How do you manage it all?" That's usually the question that follows "You have five kids and both work full time???!!" I then calmly explain that is how we manage it all. Working full time is how we both keep our sanity. Stay home for more than 10 hours a day with five children and you'd be looking for a way to escape too. Believe me. These little people are demanding, emotional and if I hear "Mommy, he's not touching me again" (yes, not touching me is exactly what is said) or "He keeps making clicking noises at me. He's trying to make me lose the game!!!!" one more time that on some days I think my head may explode. Having a career gives me a great excuse to get out. And certainly allows us to pay the mortgage. I love my kids more than anything but I am a better Mom if I get away for a little bit each day. By the way, the he being referenced in both of the above sentences is usually my third son - The IMP. He's the one who likes to stir the pot. We'll talk more about him later.

Now my husband and I do things a bit differently than most people. I work as a Manager of a Software Testing team. (We're the people who try to break Applications before they are released to the public. Who knew you could get paid to try to break things? But I do. It's pretty cool). My husband is the Kitchen Manager/Chef for a local restaurant. What this means is I works days and he works nights. I try to get home by 5:30 PM three days a week so we can do the tag (transfer of dealing with the children) and he can go to work. There have been days I have been late coming home and this transfer has literally been a tag (like a tag team in wrestling) on the front walk as we pass each other. He works five nights a week but his off days are during the week - mine are the weekends. Now generally the next question is "When do the two of you ever see each other?" Well, it's our theory that not spending too much time together is the key to a happy marriage. There's no time to get annoyed by the way your spouse chews their food or something like that. Seriously though, it is a bit tricky, but actually works out really well. The key is constant communication. I'll generally give him a call after the kids have come home to get the run down of what needs to be done that night and to find out what's for dinner. You didn't think I did the cooking did you?? I'm married to a chef; anything I cook looks pale in comparison. Plus what and how I cook tends to annoy my husband - Kraft Macaroni and Cheese just does measure up to his standards, although my kids love it. They classify this kind of food Mom food. Mom food also includes things like grilled cheese and tomato soup and Pancakes for dinner. The kids will occasionally request Mom food from my husband. It almost killed him but my husband has cooked Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. He did try making fancy, made from scratch macaroni and cheese for them once. After taking a bite and pushing his plate away my second son actually announced "Mom's is better." That child is always telling my husband things like "It needs more salt" or "That's too spicy" or my favorite "It smells funny." Everyone has an opinion don't they? Even at the ripe age of ten.

My husband will give me a call at night after the kid's bedtime to get the run down of what needs to go to school with everyone in the morning and to check to make sure I put away the food and locked all of the doors. Yes, I get asked if I've put away the food most nights. You forget a stew or a soup sitting on the stove four or five times and you're branded for life. He's even gone so far to make sure things are transferred into plastic bowls to be put away after I've eaten and I've still left them sitting on the counter and gone to bed. Now you know why I get the phone call. I also get phone call reminders to come home from work. These generally start at 4:50 PM or so - I should leave work by 5:00 PM to be home by 5:30 PM but I'm often still in a meeting at that time. The first voice mail will be something like, "It's 10 of 5:00 time to stop talking and start shutting down your computer." Then the next one will come around 5:10 PM - "It's 5:10 do you know where your car is? It should have you in it and be on the way home" I generally am listening to this one as I walk to the parking garage. It always makes me smile. A good sense of humor goes a long way to help manage it all.