My husband just paid $80 dollars for someone to tell him what I told him weeks ago

As I’ve mentioned before my washer is acting up. It has overflowed into the playroom on me twice. After the first repairman could find nothing wrong, I suggested we go ahead a get a new washer anyway because I didn’t trust it. Besides it was the washer that was here when we bought the house and we really need one of those larger capacity washers anyway. This was not a convincing enough argument for my husband. He explained that since he did most of the laundry (…yes – he does most of the laundry …) that he’d rather wait to see if it happens again. I fortunately had the good sense not to put to area rug back down in the playroom. So when it overflowed the second time (once again when I was home alone) I only had to deal with drying up the water off the tile not dragging a large, wet area rugs out to the backyard and throwing them over the swing set like the first time.

My neighbors oh so love that look…. Actually they don’t complain but rather laugh at (with) me for not buying a new washer ….

However, the third time it overflowed I wasn’t home. My hubby was. Add to it that it had been over a week since it had happened the last time so, we had not only put the old area rug back down but had put a second 8 x 11 carpet down to cover the tile in the front part of the playroom for the winter. Oh and did I mention it happened an hour and a half before guests were arriving for my daughter's birthday party. I came back from my son’s music lesson to the sound of the vacuum running, which was odd because I had already run the vacuum for the party. I walked downstairs to find my husband cursing and trying to get as much of the water out of the carpets as he could using the wet vac before trying to move them. Needless to say Hubby suddenly agreed we might need a new washer, but he wanted a second opinion. He had a second repair man come and not only look at the washer but see if he could fix the upper heating element in the oven (I’m not sure how long that’s been out – again another appliance he uses more than I do). Well, I could hug this repair man. He told my husband that not only was it not worth fixing the washer and we should just buy a new one, but we really should just bite the bullet and redo the kitchen as well.

Yippeee!!! I get to update the kitchen!!!!

Now what you need to understand is that we have the original 1957 kitchen from when this house was built (aside from the appliances that were up dated about 15 years ago). We have the original metal cabinets and fake marble looking counter tops. Oh, such a lovely look, but not my style. The linoleum was also replaced some years ago but I’ve never really liked it. You’d think my Chef husband would have wanted to update the kitchen right after we moved in but it was such an improvement over the kitchen in our townhouse that he was happy to let it be. Now he’s all into figuring out the best way to redo the kitchen. His first thought was to go totally professional with stainless steal counter tops and wire shelving. I’ve explained that while very functional a totally stainless steal kitchen would be kind of ugly (in my humble opinion) and the fingerprints of 5 children would be a constant battle. Now the great kitchen design adventure begins…and I get a new washer too!

My Mr. M bought me this chocolate

Precious comes down stairs tonight eating a piece of chocolate. As soon as the other children smell anything that might be chocolate they come running.

Princess (the 6 year old): “I want Chocolate. Where’d she get chocolate?”
Mom: “I have no idea. Precious where did you get chocolate?”
Precious: “My Mr. M bought me this chocolate.”

Now here is where I should explain the Mr. M is the name the neighbor’s children call my husband. Precious has picked up on this and rather than calling him Daddy she’ll call him “My Mr. M”

Mom: “Ok, but where is it?”
Precious: “My Mr. M bought me this chocolate.”
Now all four other children: “We want chocolate. How come she gets chocolate and we don’t? That’s not fair…”

Once again it’s the implication that we might love one child more than the others from the ones who feel slighted to try to guilt Mom. It works, but only becasue I want some chocolate too. The desperate phone call is now made to my husband ….

Mom: “Did you buy chocolate today?”
Dad: Laughing …”Yes, but that was supposed to be my secret …”
Mom: “Well you’ve been given up. Precious got some out to eat but is not sharing where the stash is.”
Dad: “Do I have to tell?”
Other four Children in the background: “Dad, we want chocolate too!! Why does Precious get chocolate and we don’t?”
Mom: “I’m on the verge of a small riot here. Could you please tell me where the chocolate is?”
Dad: Laughing and enjoying this a bit too much. “It’s in the china cabinet, but don’t let the kids see where you get it from. I need a place to keep my secret chocolate.”
Mom: “I’ll try as long as you save some for me, but how did Precious get it out?”
Dad: “I’m not sure …That’s a mystery for you to solve.”

Well everyone got a piece of chocolate (I had two) and I still haven’t solved the mystery of how Precious got the first piece of chocolate. I think this one has learned from the mistakes of the others and knows not to leave the tell tale wrapper or chair next to the counter. This is very worrying. I count on the kids leaving clues behind to figure out who did what because they will cover for each other. I actual watched my oldest see one of other kids leave the milk out but when I asked him who did it. He said "I don't know it was out when I got here." I guess will have to punish that “NotMe” guy for a while.

How about we have Lobster then?

Before you read the dialog below, let me explain the we live in Maryland where steamed crabs are a common meal during the summer.

Imp: "Mom, when are we going to have crabs for dinner again?"
Mom: "Not till next summer. They're out of season now."
Imp: "Well how about we have lobster? I've seen people eat them."
Mom: "I'll ask Daddy about that."

Later after the children are in bed, I gave my husband a call at work:

Mom: " So the Imp asked when were going to have crabs again."
Dad: "They're out of season. We can't any decent ones till next summer."
Mom: "I know. I told him that, but he had a suggestion of something else for dinner."
Dad: "What?"
Mom: "Lobster"
Dad: "Where'd he get that idea?" Laughing
Mom: "I don't know, but he said he has seen people eat them."
Dad: "Well, did he specify if he wanted lobster tail or whole main?" (Always the Chef)
Mom: "No, but he said he's seen people eat them."
Dad: "Maybe I'll bring some shrimp home. We haven't had shrimp in a while"
Mom: "Maybe you can explain to the Imp that they are like mini-lobsters."
Dad: "Yeah, that'll work." Snickering.

I think I need to explain the cost of feeding 7 people and that lobster just isn't practical for dinner for everyone...

I’m too tired to sleep ….

So here is how bed time has started off tonight, 3 of the children are sleeping in their own beds. My second son is sleeping in Precious’ bed because it is quieter in the girl’s room. Precious is in bed with me because she’s still awake. Since the other children have school tomorrow, I’ve kept her with me so she will at least lie down and be quiet. Of course, she’s watching TV so, who knows when she’ll actually sleep, but that’s a separate issue. What this means is when my husband comes home he’ll probably sleep in our son’s bed because he won’t risk waking Precious moving her.

This sort of musical beds happens often in our house. Since my hubby works nights, he often comes home to find his side of the bed occupied because either someone had a bad dream or brothers who won’t stop making funny noises or the crickets are chirping too loud or “I’m too tired to sleep”. I really haven’t figured that one out – but it’s one I get quite often from my second son when he’s having trouble sleeping.

It’s not a regular thing with any one child; they seem to take turns. This makes me think there are secret meetings where the children plot things that will drive Mom and Dad crazy. Seriously, I think they draw straws to determine whose turn it is to act up each day.

Anyway, I know you all are thinking “Well it’s your own fault for letting them in your bed to begin with …” Well, true, but honestly this way I get more sleep. And I’m someone who needs her sleep. I learned this during the first few months of my oldest son’s life. I often term that time of my life “Survival.” And I still went on to have five more … figure that one out. I wonder if years from now my oldest will appreciate being the child we experimented on the most ...

Dady has a little butt...

Ok, today in the middle of the Mall while walking behind my husband, Precious (the 2 year old) announced to everyone in the mall: "Daddy you have a little buttt....................Mommy has a big butt."

Ok, I give up ... where is that exercise video I bought last year ...? I can't wait to see what she looks like after giving birth to 5 children in 10 years ....

The Curtain Management System

Well it’s October 9th and it was over 90 today!! What’s that all about???!!! Maybe we should all start paying attention to this global warming thing.

We have central air so I shouldn’t be complaining, right? Wrong! I have a husband who has decided that we should use the air conditioning as little as possible. This has been going on all summer. He refuses to pay more money to “The Man.”

In this case “The Man” is the energy company, whom he believes producing less energy to make it look like there is a shortage and therefore charge higher rates. We’ll discuss his paranoia level another time.

While I agree with my husband on a philosophical level that not using the central air is good for the environment, the reality of temperatures over 90 degrees does have a significant influence on my behavior.

I really can’t complain too much. During the hottest part of the day today I was sitting in a nicely air conditioned office. It was actually a bit cold in the conference room. He is the one here at home suffering in the heat.

In comes the curtain management system. What you first need to understand is that we live in a 1950’s Rancher with a finished walkout basement that faces North/South. One of the things I loved about this house when we first saw it was the 10 foot wide window in the living room and the bright open layout. For the first year we lived here I just had sheers on the window in the living room so I could enjoy the light (and they were cheap). I am a light person – I hate a dark room. I will turn on lights even during the day to make a room brighter. This drives my husband nuts.

Anyway, about the time dear hubby heard about potential energy rate hikes it was decided that we should by “real” curtains for the living room and dining room. Something heavier than sheers, that would help insulate the windows in the winter. Well, any excuse to shop, right? I went looking for new curtains.

I found some curtains I really loved and of course we then needed new curtain rods to hang them and the things to hang on each side of the window so I can pull the curtain back to let in the light.

After the new curtain rods, curtains and tie backs were hung my husband then explained the curtain management system.

During hot days he will go around the house closing the curtains on the windows where the sun is starting to come it. Thus preventing extra heat build up in the house. Then as the sun moves through the day he will open the curtains previously shut to let in the breeze and close others which will keep the house cooler during the day and minimizing the need to turn on the air conditioning. On cold days he does exactly the opposite. He opens the curtains to let the sunlight in and warm up the house keeping the heat from needing to kick on as often. It took me awhile to buy into the curtain management system. Since we have a basement that stays relatively comfortable unless it’s really humid out, I didn’t complain too much. I just retreated to the basement and stayed there – since that’s where our family room and my office is it wasn’t too hard. However, after we got out first Gas and Electric bill this summer I have to admit I was convinced. It was just $150 dollars. That’s for a 2700 square foot house that has 6 people in it all day with computers, video games and TVs going. Not bad really. Maybe everyone should try the curtain management system….

Mom has a big butt ...

“Mom, you have a big butt…” that was the announcement from my 2 year old this evening. Isn’t she just PRECIOUS???!!!

She had followed me into the bathroom … that’s something about being a Mom that no one ever tells you … once they can move and follow you …you will never take a shower or teetle alone again. Oh yeah, you can lock the door before they get in, but then you have to deal with the scratching and whining at the door … “Moooom, I need ….”

That’s how all sentences start, “Mom, I need …” It’s seared into your brain. Why couldn’t they start with “Darling, hard working, thin, adorable mother, if you wouldn’t mind …?” I might not say No so often.

Anyway, I digress, Precious had followed me into the bathroom and I had let her. Partially because she is my last one in diapers and at 2 ½ I’m soooo ready for her to be out of them (maybe she’ll get the idea this time, I think) and partially because I just didn’t want to deal with the knocking at the door the whole time. She proceeds to walk around me, look me up and down and announced her assessment of my shape. Maybe I’ll start that exercise program tomorrow.

Precious is physically ready to stop wearing diapers but being the youngest she is trying to hold on to babyhood for as long as she can. I, on the other hand, am ready for it to be over. I did the math the other day – because that’s what I do when I’m bored -math, I’m geek. I know, it’s ok - we have been buying diapers for almost 13 years straight – never had a break between any of the kids, as none of my children were early potty trainers. At some points I even had two in diapers. Thirteen years, do you know how much money that is??? If you figure an average price for diapers of $15 dollars a week (that accounts for buying in bulk and on sale) it's $10,140.00 dollars. Kind of scary when you think of it that way, isn’t it? Anyway, I started doing the math the other day not just because I’m a geek, but because one of my co-workers was lamenting how he had been buying diapers for six years and was so excited that his youngest started going potty this past weekend. Could I even relate? I’ve been buying diapers for over a decade, I’m not sure I can picture an end … but I can dream can’t I???

Another busy week ...

Once again it's been a while since I've posted anything. I'll try to be a better blogger.

Anyway, it has been another crazy week. We're getting ready for a major release at work and the chaos of the last few weeks before the big event has begun.

The stress level is pretty high. It's to the point that my co-workers were thoroughly convinced I was having a nervous breakdown at my desk the other day. I wasn't, at least not that day.

What I had mistakenly done was decide it was 4:30 in the afternoon and I would check out a link a friend had sent me because it had been a long, rough day. Well, it was a link to a blog entry that I totally identified with and found hysterically funny (mom2my6pack.blogspot.com - check out the entry about the pokemon cards). I was laughing so hard I was literally in tears. Now, I work in one of those open office environments - you know - no real walls, bull-pen type cubes. Anyway, everyone walking by thought I was sitting at my desk sobbing. They were sure that with everything I have to deal with it was only a matter of time. In a matter of minutes an impromptu meeting occurred to discuss who should come over and find out if I was OK. Well, apparently the Admin Assistant, who sits directly behind me, drew the short straw. She quietly walked up behind me and in the softest voice I've ever heard said "Michelle, are you OK?" When I turned around, you've never seen someone look more relieved when she realized I was laughing not crying. Apparently the thought was I had gone over the edge and HR was in the process of being contacted. Makes you wander what kind of image I present on a normal day, doesn't it?