Studying makes him forget things

Son #1(now known as The Boy) is a Freshman in high school. In Maryland, students have to take a series of High School Assessments (HSAs) in order to graduate. His Biology and Government HSAs are next week. The Biology teacher e-mailed out a study guide today, which I printed out and gave to The Boy to use to study. You know what The Boy had the nerve to say to me??

"You realize all this studying is not helping, right? I had better grades when I wasn't studying. Everyone says is a known fact that studying too much makes you forget things."

Seriously?????!!!!! Does he really think I'm going to look at him and say 'Really, well since you put it that way and EVERYONE (who is also 14 and whose parents are also chanting "Do not Kill The Boy") says so, just forget about the study guide and go play on the Wii?' Well, I didn't have time to respond because the next words out of his mouth were:

"Yeah, see I had a 2.7 GPA in the beginning of the year and now since you guys have been making me study all the time I have a 2.1."

REALLY?????? A GPA of 2.7 is really supposed to make me feel better??? Is this child daft???!!!!! Has he not been paying attention to what we've been saying since we got his first interim report this year???? Oh wait, with these grades maybe he is.

I don't get it. This is the kid who was an A/B student last year. He took the Algebra HSA in eighth grade and scored in the ninety-third percentile. He took the PSATs early in October and scored in the fifty-fifth percentile of all students who took the test, so, he scored better than half the kids who took the test - most of whom are a year ahead of him in school. The Boy can't fool us - he's smart. He's d$mn smart. He apparently just has no sense.

Needless to say, he is sitting here reviewing the Study guide now - while huffing, puffing, sighing and fidgeting around.

Repeat after me "Must not kill The Boy, Must not kill The Boy, Must not kill The Boy."

So, what are you buying yourself for Mother's day?

"So, what are you buying yourself for Mother's day?" That was the question my husband asked me after breakfast this morning. You know what's sad? I didn't hesitate and said, "I think a new purse."

Now, don't think my husband is thoughtless, it's just gift buying/shopping is not a big item on his to do list. When he does by presents they are great ones and generally very meaningful. He just doesn't do it often or just because some holiday says he should. He also knows that I will buy myself something I need or had my eye if he hasn't bought a gift. I have been known to come home with a bag and say "You want to see what you just got me for {insert gift giving holiday here}?" I think it's the easiest way to get what I really want for a gift and relieves him of the burden of shopping - something he generally detests. It works out well for us.

So, I spent the afternoon at the mall shopping for a purse. What you need to realize is I am not a clothes, shoes or purse person. I am a very practical person and it's reflected in the clothes and accessories I own or rather don't own. I have only 3 purses (the one I just replaced, which will be given to the girls to use for dress-up in a few minutes, the new one and a black evening bag).

I have a friend at work who has been trying to get me to add some style to my wardrobe. He has explained and I quote, '...while you are not a fashion disaster, your wardrobe is boring." Harsh, but sort of true. Hence, my mission for a new purse, I am trying to add a bit of style. I bought my last purse 3 years ago at Target for $13.95. I decided I should get something a bit nicer this time - like made of real leather. Not knowing anything about designer labels or their prices my first stop was the Louis Vuitton store (it's a store full of purses, right? I thought this would be easy). I should have suspected something when the prices where not displayed on a tag hanging from the strap of the purse. I found an almost perfect, small purse and was about to say I'll take it till I found out the price. IT was $1200.00 dollars!!!!! For a purse that wasn't even made from leather - are you kidding me????? I nearly choked. I handed it back to sales lady, thanked her for her help and left the store. Do they not realize what my purse goes through? It gets dropped, stepped on, spilled on, thrown and often a laptop set on top of it. I can't do that to a $1200.00 dollar purse.

I ended up at the sales table in Nordstrom and came away with a perfectly good purse for not too much money. I came home, looked at my husband and said "Do you want to see what you bought me for Mother's day?"

May is Zombie Awareness Month

Hi! I know it has been a very long time since my last post. Um - I've been busy?? Is that an acceptable excuse? Maybe not, but I've decided to try to post semi -regularly again or at least as often as funny or interesting things happen at our house.

I just wanted to let everyone know that May is Zombie Awareness month. If you need help preparing for this crisis I highly recommend reading "The Zombie Survival Guide." People around me find my Zombie obsession a bit disturbing, but as I've explained in previous posts I started my post-apocalyptic survival survival planning when I was about 15 or 16 after reading Steven King's "The Stand." I don't know why it stuck with me, but it did and it became a funny hobby of mine when I need to get my mind off the real world.

Now, before you all start getting worried about me, I have not built a bunker in the back yard, built walls around my house or stocked up on MREs. This plan is all just in my head and really just a running joke, but if the dead do start walking the earth - I have a plan.

Only groceries ….

So here is the conversation my hubby and I had today:

Hubby: “We need to be more careful with our money.”
Me: “That’s always good, but we’ve been pretty good. The only debt we now have is the House and the Car. We’ve paid everything else off.”
Hubby: “I know, but we waste too much money. No extras for a while. You can only by groceries for a month.”

Notice how it went from we to you?? Is he insuating I have a spending problem? Just becasue I just bought about a weeks worth of new colorful clothes?

Are you now asking yourself how a family with 5 children wastes money? The answer is we don’t really. Since hubby is a chef we rarely eat out (a complaint on my part - I want a date!!!! See previous posts). The kids are trained that they only get presents for their birthdays and holiday. I am a big gadget person but just bought my first iPod about a month ago. Can you believe it? They were threatening to take away my geek card at work. The iPod was bought for him for father’s day, although I’m the one who plays it. That worked out well huh?

This conversation all started because since we bought the new sofa set for the family room (at IKEA – nothing expensive or fancy for our house – and they’re washable!!!), I’ve decided that the old curtains look kind of blah and want new ones. I talking $30 dollar a set curtains – not custom made, but hubby has decided I have spent enough lately.

He says he likes our dull tan Target curtains, but I am now on a color mission. I must introduce colors other than green and beige into my life!

Does he not understand that?????

Other than the sofas, some colorful clothes and a father's present I haven't bought anything beyond necessaties in months. Oh and the fireworks for 4th of July (from Costco), oh and those cute dresses for the girls and the Lego Indiana Jones game I traded Son #2 for his Best buy gift cards he had gotten for his birthday and the new vinyl table clothes for the picnic tables and the new awning for the porch and probably a few other things I'm forgetting .... hmmm, maybe Hubby has a point?

Darn it, it really sucks to be married to someone who not only thinks he's always right but actually is! How does he do that?

Fashion Challenged

Hello - sorry I've been away for a while. Life just got in the way of blogging, but things seem to have calmed down a bit, so I'll try to be more consistent.

So, I was informed by a coworker a few weeks ago that while I am not a fashion disaster or an example of what not to wear - my wardrobe is boring. Apparently, I wear the same 4 colors all the time. Who knew?

Actually, I believe the quote was “Your daughter could draw your entire wardrobe using the 4 pack of crayons that they give out at TGI Fridays…”

It was also suggested that I might want to think about adding patterns to my repertoire. Apparently one pair of window pane pants does not count (too subtle – I’m told) .

This is not the first time a coworker has commented on my wardrobe. About a year before this another coworker walked up to me on St. Patrick’s Day and said, “So this is just like any other day for you and your green clothes, huh?”

This is a tough love group.

What’s really sad about this is I did not realize how much green I owned and wore until I went home that night and looked. I really do own a lot of green. You know how some people own a lot of black? Well, for me that color is green. I mean I own a lot of green. I could wear green for about two weeks straight and not repeat the same outfit. Kind of reminds you of the blob, huh?

I was telling a member of my team about the green comment and she started laughing out loud. I mean almost falling out of her chair laughing. This woman works for me, could she be laughing at me????

For those who don’t know me – I don’t find people laughing at me offensive – I do a lot of really silly, klutzy stuff. I am one of those people who can trip over their own feet – I just want to be in on the joke, darn it.

She then proceeded to tell me the following (paraphrased of course):

C: “Remember last summer when my daughter was working part time for the Operations team?”
Me: “Yes”
C: “One day after she had been here for a few weeks she came over and asked me a question about you.”
Me: “Yes – what did she ask?”
C: almost in tears laughing at this point: “What’s the deal with your boss and green? You know, I’ve always wondered if you realized how much you wore it.”
Me: “Well no, I didn’t till someone pointed it out. That’s really sad isn’t it?”

So, really if you think about it 4 colors is a step up for me. See I can learn.

I will, however; continue to buy the same shirt or pants just in different colors. If I find something I like and it fits well I’ll buy in every color I can – but no more green. I’m on the green wagon.

Do stripes count as a pattern? Help!

Hanging out in the trees

Ok, so this is the scene in front of my house as I arrive home from work.

The boys next door are playing kick ball in the street along with Son #2 and the Imp. Now we do have a yard they could be doing that in, but no they prefer to play in the street.

My girls are in the front yard across the street chasing the neighbor girls around and riding their tricycle.

And where is Son #1 you ask? I didn't spot him at first. It wasn't till I realized that the top branches of the tree across the street were moving but there was no breeze. He was up in the top branches of a tall skinny Maple tree. Do you think he could he be on the side that hangs over the grass - oh, no not Son #1. He's up in the branches that hang over the street. I watched in horror as he climbed down on branches that looked like they could snap at any moment plummeting him to the middle of the road.

Well, he got down without incident, but there was a discussion of "Did you have your brain with you today?" when he got to the house. Which got this response .. "Whaaaat, you never said don't climb that tree... (insert preteen eye rolling too). "

We've never said don't climb a tree. We actually encourage tree climbing. It's a great freeing thing to do. In fact one of the kid’s favorite places to hang out in the summer is the branches of the old red bud tree in the back yard - it has nice thick branches that are comfortable to drape yourself across.

But why he had to climb the skinny one that hangs over the street is just beyond me ....I am sooooo not ready for him to be thirteen

Sssshhhh....it's secret

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been out of town.

Now don't tell anyone...cause it's apparently a big secret. My mother's older sister knows but not her mother, younger sister or anyone in my father's family cause they just didn't want anyone to know. Although everyone my father works with and anyone else my mother speaks to on a regular basis knows. I've found it's best not to question the logic of these kinds of decisions at the time but to focus of what really needs to be done.

But now enough time has passed and I've decided to blow the big secret. I was out of town because I was staying with my parents. My father had triple bypass surgery and someone needed to stay home with him 24/7 for the first week he was home. Since, I can really do my job from anywhere I made plans to be there. My hubby took off work and stayed home with the kidos and I went out to Ohio. Oh, did I mention that this was also the week the kids were home on spring break. Hubby loves me for that one.

Dad is doing well. Fortunately, this was all caught in a check up, so there was no heart damage but there is the recovery of general heart surgery. Dad is a trooper. However, he was trying to get up and around on his own the second day home from the hospital, scaring me to death because he was still a bit wobbly at that point. But my family is a fiercely independent bunch, so being dependent on someone else for anything is quite annoying to them. Also, I was sitting out in the dining room working at the time and he didn't want to interupt my work. Now you know where I get my work ethic from too. It's just proof that I come by stubborness and workaholic tendencies naturally.

P.S. For those who are wondering, no I did not go visit my grandmother while I was out in Ohio. Since no one could know why I was in town I couldn't go visiting without blowing the secret. Yes, I'm a wimp.